just the other day, my grandchild asked me what the day was like. We were hysterical in ’99.  Burning crafts of metal falling from the sky. What did we do, when we saw a stranger?They were people who found  one more friend. We carried pieces of trees on our backs from building to building, ass to class. Just read a few pages, maybe we swallowed the hamburger whole in class. Maybe, we didn’t know what side was up. I don’t know. My memory has faded.

she knows, I have long told all. Her, she knows. Sand on a beach, stars in the sky. I written it down along time ago. I don’t remember all the faces, but my heart still beats to it all the same.

so, apparently I’m still that man in the photo.  I still see the tattoo my mother gave me at birth.  You see, I never got to see pop as an old man. Maybe, its a graceful swan song to be seen but still be heard. What year is it?

qui connait? You wanna tell me strawberry and the lady with the white ice cream cone are good too. The Nazis, they knew of smokes. Thank God. Heroes for the other side.

but I encouraged my 4 year old daughter to ask me every question her mind can conjure. Some I won’t answer. sognaM. Some I can’t answer. I know she’ll be smarter than me. Already smarter than I was at 6.

i wonder…

factory, why would a child say such a horrific word as his first. He isn’t another statistic forgotten from another planet, right? All through your, can you imagine living in black and white, maybe some generous shade of gray in between? Some day, you hear him yell “I’m new to this world!”

i don’t see it now. Even today, I fade between sunshine and sunset. I don’t know what day it is. I just know I have to work. Night shift. Got to make that hole in the ground prettier, right? Ha, life turns on a dime.  5102

maybe, next time I write. I write something. My hands are black. zephyr




Nashville – Fall ’16

Australia > Vietnam > Japan – Winter ’17

France > Germany > England – Summer ’17


Perhaps, an extension of my journal. Maybe, copy-and-paste? I don’t know how frequently I will be posting on this Blog. I have an ambition. It’s not exactly a clandestine project. I wish it wasn’t the spine of my everyday consciousness. But it is. It thrills, it kills me. I become wholly aware of every neuron in my brain, the temperature rising, maybe my heart will implode. It’s being turned inside out. A man creates his own motivation, thanks for providing it. It’s a test of intellect, will, courage and ultimately my job.

Where have I deviate? When I was in grade 1, I didn’t spoke little to no English despite being in Canada for 3 years by then. Autumn of ’97, my teacher also taught me in summer school. Under her tutelage, I grew from an underachiever to an overachiever. 69×5=345 From grade 3 on, I was complacent. I practiced truancy in high school, showed up for exam and pass it with good marks. Befuddling some of my teachers.I never discovered my intellect until I left College. So whatever they say, I learned in books. If you’re reading a book, I must know what you’re reading.

Most of the females; I don’t know them personally. I can’t remember of all their faces. Their names, I don’t know. I’m not alone in saying this. There has been a lot of them, without me even saying a word. Zero. I don’t know why, man. You can laugh, Goliath. I’m not exactly an asshole, I’m just better at other things.

Yesterday, I was roaming around the cemetery, searching for my dad’s grave. You know something? The ones who die young…..

Do I have regrets in my life? I don’t have to answer that question. This isn’t VHS. I will say this, I have to be my past, present and future every single day. If you don’t know what I am talking about; you will soon.

Not that I’m young, but this status quo. It’s a tent. Not a house. There is no destination, there is only a a journey.


(….Gonna need to buy some clothes now)